Tuesday, September 29, 2015

One day THIS, next day THAT

So, what will it be today?

Toss a coin..

Last time I did this exercise (2 days ago) I could do 12 reps.  Today, I fell to the ground after 6.

Did the muscle capacity change?  NO!

Did the mental focus change?  NO!

The neural pathway is variable!  Why?  What opens/closes it? (Silence)

The hope is that tomorrow the capacity is back to 12.

In the meantime, I stand by my theory that I would rather have a strong muscle fail occasionally than live with a weaker muscle capacity day-by-day.  Fully realizing the muscle strength can't compensate for the neural screw ups, I build the muscles and hope (and work) for generation of new neural pathways.

Wishful thinking?  Maybe, but I'm still fighting the good fight after 20 years!

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Telling the Universal Story

One of the many challenges of living with MS is in the over thinking.  I find myself analyzing and second guessing decisions and choices as I move through days, months, years.  I wonder if the actions I take impact the course of the MS in a positive or negative way - what if this or that?  should I have? is any of it really helping???

Are all of us out there trying to manage this disease alone?  Have you received useful advice from health care or other providers that you know for a fact has made a positive impact?  Have you made personal decisions that you know without a shadow of a doubt have moved you closer to or farther from wholeness?

I feel frustrated by the gray areas.  I work hard to do a great many things intentionally and well.  I strive to live in a way that tends to manage my health as much as I can muster.  Mostly I feel good about all of it, but then I have the days where I wonder if any of it matters.  Is my current place just luck or fate or random?  Why is a former classmate of mine in a wheelchair and I am still tackling running (albeit with limited success)?  What makes the difference?

Scanning the medical literature for answers seems futile.  There simply is not enough data to really explore issues fully.  Limited studies hint that lifestyle choices matter, but to what degree and for how long remains shrouded in mystery.  I want more data!  I want more studies!

I want a flood of money to invest in individuals and their outcomes and to quantify and analyze details about diet, exercise, and sleep for us all.  This, of course, is in addition to work being done to reverse and modify the disease within a traditional medical model.

Do you have access to programs that help you manage your MS?  I truly want to know what works:  for YOU and for us all.

Comment here or  email (angela.h.gorman@gmail.com).

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

More spoons, please!

I hope you had the opportunity to click through and read the SPOON THEORY.  Some folks have all the words.  (See previous post for the link)

I have spent my time thinking about that bouquet of spoons and feeling frustrated by the limitations it represents.  I'm sure it's a metaphor we can all relate to!

So, how do we put more spoons in the bouquet - more gas in the tank?

I ask myself if I am doing everything I can to make sure I'm maximizing that spoon count.

Taking care of myself?
Getting to bed on time?
Avoiding caffeine?
Eating regularly?
Healthful foods and drinks?
Down time?
Minimizing involvement in peripheral stress?
Allowing time to meditate, pray and/or dream?

Each day, each NO may mean spoons disappearing before they are even spent.  More YES, More ENERGY...

More spoons, please!!

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Spoon Theory

This, my friends, is fantastic!

Just in case you haven't read it, read it now!


Saturday, September 19, 2015

Relishing Others' Success!

I realize there may be a fine line between living vicariously through another and truly relishing another's success.  Maybe I'm tip-toeing right now.

My cross country team is an absolutely fantastic group of kids!  My youth soccer team is an amazing group of young girls!

Every day they help me find success in their efforts and passions.  Everything we do, we do as a team, and it is amazing to be a part of something so good.

What I may not be able to do as well as I used to, I can help and teach others to do - and do their best - and find success.

Most importantly, we share the journey - and isn't that THE BEST PART!!